hello up there.

the number is real. the email is real. and because the phone is real, you should not expect an answer.

personally, i don’t want anyone recording me — so i’m telling you now: if you call, you’ll have to leave a voicemail. i’ll hear it. i’ll delete it. but you will be recorded. there’s no way around that.

text the number instead. text it anything. i like jokes. i like riddles. i like people telling me i’m wrong, and i love proving them wrong in return. and if i’m honest — i love it more when i find out they’re right. that’s my receipt for doing something right. i realize the logic there. but if you follow the thread, the simple fact that you took the time to correct me gives weight to all the other times you didn’t.

i don’t know who comes in. i didn’t track anything. this site has no way of making money. i have nothing to sell. so the only product i have is you. no offense — i have better things to do.

the point is: the number is real, the email is real, and i am real. my friends and family think i’m crazy to put a number and an email on a website. fair enough. it’s been about a week. no one has called.

so i’m going to put a fucking clock right here.